Leviticus 1:1-5:26
Isaiah 43:21-44:23
Matthew 5:23:30
I endured childhood abuse and various other forms of trauma. One of my many unhealthy coping mechanisms was drugs, alcohol, sex, and food, anything to numb out the pain, quiet the raging emotions, and silence the voices of shame and self-hatred.
During my time as an active addict, I was skilled at shifting blame to stave off the deep well of toxic shame that childhood abuse left planted deep in my soul. I found ways to manipulate to get my neglected God-given needs met. After years of riotous living, I hit bottom and cried out to Him.
He rescued me from myself, like the prodigal son, I returned to my Father’s house.
On my journey toward healing and self-understanding, I enrolled in college and earned a degree in substance abuse counseling. I attended numerous 12-step recovery meetings, where I often recognized my own story in the experiences of both men and women. Listening to their confessions awakened not only forgotten sins but also deep emotions that had been buried in my heart and pushed to the back of my mind. The layers of denial and blame-shifting ran deep, but hearing others’ stories helped break the strongholds in my heart and mind.
The message of recovery gave me the courage to take ownership of my sins and stop blaming others.
This week, we begin the book of Leviticus.
Leviticus 1 begins with sin offerings…
22 “When a leader sins, doing unintentionally any one of all the things that by the commandments of the LORD his God ought not to be done, and realizes his guilt, 23 or the sin which he has committed is made known to him, he shall bring as his offering a goat, a male without blemish,
27 “If anyone of the common people sins unintentionally in doing any one of the things that by the LORD’s commandments ought not to be done, and realizes his guilt, 28 or the sin which he has committed is made known to him, he shall bring for his offering a goat, a female without blemish, for his sin which he has committed
17 “If anyone sins, doing any of the things that by the LORD’s commandments ought not to be done, though he did not know it, then realizes his guilt, he shall bear his iniquity.
Leaders and “common people”, we are in this together! When unintentional sins occur, one realizes they have stepped out of the narrow path of righteousness. They then take responsibility for their actions and provide an “offering” In recovery language that means restitution, an amends. This can be paying money stolen, fixing a mailbox broken by hitting it while under the influence, or it is making a wrong right.
Passover is just over the horizon. Many worldwide will be going through their homes with a fine-toothed comb, some using a flashlight to find those crumbs in the nooks and crannies… taking inventory of not only the unleavened ingredients in the food items in their kitchen and food pantry, but also examining their own hearts.
The steps of recovery are a powerful tool for breaking strongholds of denial, as powerful as a flashlight for finding those crumbs of anger, anguish, and hidden animosity.
One way to look at this from a trauma perspective is that, as survivors, we move beyond denial regarding the damage caused by the abuse we experienced. We acknowledge that we WERE victimized, accept this reality, and take responsibility for our healing process. Overcomers begin by telling the truth, even if only to themselves at first.
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- “This happened.”
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- “It hurt me.”
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- “It wasn’t my fault.”
Naming breaks the spell of silence and shame. It’s the first act of reclaiming power.
Victims are often told to minimize, hide, or spiritualize their pain.
Overcomers do the opposite.
They let themselves feel:
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- grief
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- anger
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- confusion
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- betrayal
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- fear
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- relief
Feeling isn’t weakness; it’s the body finally telling the truth. The body keeps score!
Trauma steals a person’s sense of identity, their true, beautiful selves: the very one that He so lovingly knit together in their mother’s womb, with gifts and talents, intelligence, and creativity.
Overcomers slowly reclaim it, overcomers embrace who He created them to be, functioning in their God given purpose, fulfilling their calling!
They begin to trust:
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- their instincts again
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- their memories and honor themselves
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- their boundaries and set them as needed.
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- their “no” and even their “yes”
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- their “this is not okay.” and distance themselves from unhealthy situations and people.
This is where the shift from victim to survivor becomes visible.
Overcomers learn to protect their energy, time, and safety.
Sometimes it starts small:
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- not answering a call, or choosing to end a phone call.
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- leaving the room or not going to that gathering
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- saying “I need space or I will think about that and get back to you”.
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- choosing silence instead of explaining, remember, you do not owe an explanation to people.
Every boundary is a brick in the foundation of freedom.
Step one: Admit and acknowledge unmanageability.
Step two: Come to believe that He can restore us.
Step three: Fully surrender.
Step four: Conduct a fearless moral inventory.
Step five: Confess our wrongs.
Step six: Prepare to have that stronghold removed.
Step seven: Humbly ask Him to remove it.
Step eight: Make a list of all the people harmed.
Step nine: Seek forgiveness from those individuals and make restitution.
Step ten: Keep your side of the path clean.
Step eleven: Seek Him constantly.
Step twelve: Help others find the narrow path.
